Here's the Skinny

I am here to tell you all that this blog is officially going on hiatus until next Monday. I'm doing so in order to assemble a full redesign and prep up some articles. Good times await you, Dino Cadets!

Dino of the Day - 04/02/08

I tried to find a sweet picture of a dinosaur with tons of lightning crashing down in honor of the lightning bolt I tried and failed to shave into my pubes, but I came up empty handed. This Spinosaur will have to do.

Gross.

This'll be a brief one. Posts here are gonna be a tad sparse until probably sometime into next week as I'm devoting my mental energies to something that is related to this blog.

ANYWAY

On my way back in from a smoke break, I struck a conversation with a fellow Paleontologist, who ended up asking me, "So what's the grossest thing you have had to work on so far?". I was completely at a loss for words. I still can't come up with a solid answer to that question, it's like asking oneself what one's favorite movie is. She was quick to add that the worst one she's had to deal with was 60+ Euro lesbian porn. I can see her point.

So I felt I would pose a question to you Dino Cadets out there: what's the worst pornography YOU have had the pleasure of watching?

Dino of the Day - 03/26/08

HEY YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE DINO CADETS! Here's one that'll really give you a BONEr. GET IT? BONE-R? BONER! LIKE DINOSAUR BONES. This is Steven and he's a Dimorphodon. I don't get him.

Dino Bites - 03/26/08

Hey folks, Dr. Charles Bone here with the first installment of "Dino Bites", which is an exciting and original new concept that I made up myself, wherein I post questions from YOU the Dino Cadets out there in Pangea. Let's just hop right into it, shall we?



Dear Dr. Bone,

nobody likes me and all i do is watch porn all day and i keep trying to rub one out even though it started to hurt and bleed is there something wrong with me

sincerely,
paul, phoenix, az

Dear Paul,

Yea man.



WAT THE FUCK MAN WHATS WIT ALL TEH DINOSAR SHIT

RAZER65

Dear Razer Sixty-Five,

The relationship between pornography and dinosaurs is really quite simple. First of all: Everyone loves porn, and everyone loves dinosaurs. Secondly, I want you to think about dinosaurs while you masturbate, like I do.



Dear I Tag Your Porn,

I recently started working in porn (maybe you've worked on one of my films LOLZ), and I wanted to ask you: Is there a technique you've seen used where I can get a fist up my butt and not have to wear adult diapers anymore?

love,
Grace, Miami, Fl

Dear Grace,

Unfortunately there is no way to avoid this, Grace. Until scientists are able to find funding to look into the matter, I doubt there ever will be. The best way to avoid this is to treat fisting like the AIDs it is: practice abstinence. There is currently no "condom" so to that can provide you with 100% security during your fisting endeavors.

Ahem.

No, I haven't forgotten any of you. You see, there's some big things going on behind the scenes of the "I Tag Your Porn" office. Big changes. I'll make a press release about one of the biggies shortly. For the press. So as to feel important.

ANYWAY

Many battles won, and many lost at the office. A new magazine has appeared in the men's bathroom stall, a fellow Paleontologist showed me a much more efficient way in which to watch pornography, and the Gods of Pornography have deemed "TTTT" to exist. Now if they would only acknowledge that there are some Tranies out there who don't shave their crotch, my life would be a lot easier. I mean really, who hasn't kicked back for an evening of trannie porn and been completely aghast and angered that she's got more hair down there than on her head? Just trying to help the masses, ease the plight of my fellow man just that much more.

I have to run though. The whiskey hour is upon us, and I'm going to see Jesus with my old pal Heaven Hill. On top of that, the esteemed paleontologist Othniel Charles Marsh should be here any second to continue working on the really big plan I spoke of.

Here's a dinosaur to jack off to:



This is a leptoceratops. He is from the "Ceratops" genus of dinosaur. He's pretty shitty, not a good friend.

Now Look What You've Done

I am ashamed to even call any of you Dino-Cadets. I feel dishonored by you all. With many tears and much regret, I have decided to lay our good friend Ankylosaurus to rest. Did you sickos think it would be funny to choose "Fisting" as your favorite dinosaur in the poll? Did you all sit back idly and say, "Hey! Fisting's funny! I'll vote for that because there will be no repercussions."?

Ooooh boy. Oooh boy, you were all so wrong.

From now on, Ankylosaurus is dead. He's dead to me, he's dead to you, and he's dead to this very website. You will never hear one more utterance regarding one.