I was looking back on some of the things I have written, and I wanted to make a minor note...
In no way am I disgusted in regards to the people or those who enjoy indulging in the acts that I speak of. You know, if you are a person who just really likes sitting on a balloon until it pops, then... hey, that's your thing. Likewise towards those who get their rocks off watching the video. But it's not for me.
But seriously... next time I throw a party at my house and I walk in on someone ejaculating while popping balloons in my bedroom... you're fucking out.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Dino of the Day - 02/27/08
Stop watching that enema flick! It's time for your Dino of the Day, you sick, perverted bastards. It is a Dimetrodon, and his interests include hockey, apiary, and scat.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
This job is really getting to my head......
I've officially had my first work related dream. Well, work related nightmare. Luckily for me it was the kind of dream where I would wake up every five minutes, pass back out, and start right where I left off.
Someone (no one recognizable) was hunched over me at my workstation, trying to convince me he has discovered the greatest new pornography ever invented. I don't believe him, so he puts it on to prove it. Turns out the next big thing in porn is going to be scenes where either the man or the woman drink poison at the beginning of the scene, then go at it. When the one who drinks poison dies, that's the end of the scene. And it just kept happening over and over again. I was stuck in my chair and my head would not move. I would wake up out of this, fall back asleep, and the next scene would go on.
I feel terrible. At least I can look at all the Dino of the Days to cheer me up tonight. Nothing funny today. This goddamn dream meant I received MAYBE 3 hours of sleep. My brain is too tired to be sarcastic and repulsed by this shit right now. But I swore to myself that I'd post every day (minus weekends, though sometimes), and damnit, I'm going to do it.
Someone (no one recognizable) was hunched over me at my workstation, trying to convince me he has discovered the greatest new pornography ever invented. I don't believe him, so he puts it on to prove it. Turns out the next big thing in porn is going to be scenes where either the man or the woman drink poison at the beginning of the scene, then go at it. When the one who drinks poison dies, that's the end of the scene. And it just kept happening over and over again. I was stuck in my chair and my head would not move. I would wake up out of this, fall back asleep, and the next scene would go on.
I feel terrible. At least I can look at all the Dino of the Days to cheer me up tonight. Nothing funny today. This goddamn dream meant I received MAYBE 3 hours of sleep. My brain is too tired to be sarcastic and repulsed by this shit right now. But I swore to myself that I'd post every day (minus weekends, though sometimes), and damnit, I'm going to do it.
Dino of the Day - 02/26/08
HEY YOU SCUM FUCK DINO-CADETS! HERE'S ONE THAT'LL REALLY WHET YOUR WHISTLE! IT'S A BADASS T-REX OR SOMETHING AND HE GONNA KILL YOU.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Porn in the 80's
I have come to enjoy the music in a lot of pornography from the 80's a great deal. 70's porn music is already well regarded, but the music from the 80's is oftentimes overlooked. I sit there and think to myself "Shit, is that John Carpenter? Is that Jean-Michel Jarre? Nope, but damn thems some good synths".
Unfortunately, the negative affect of loving this music is that I sometimes find myself watching ones that are... well, in my opinion kind of gross just to take some more of the delicious melody in. Today for example, I kind of phased out listening to the tunes, only to snap back to reality when I realized I was watching two French, gay twinks alternately lick each other's buttholes, followed by making out, followed by more butthole lick, followed by making out. Etc. <---apparently a common thing in gay French twink porn from the 80's as I had the pleasure of working on one of those a few days back.
(As an aside I must note that while I was at first disgusted thoroughly, the quality of the production was quite good, so it made me realize that those men's buttholes were probably cleaner than most of the plates in my kitchen cupboard... I digress, as in my opinion this is a post-worthy subject...)
So now I am going to get all obsessive and try to track down some of the music from this era in MP3 form. If I find anything good, I'll share it with you guys. If anyone already has some, please let me know...
Unfortunately, the negative affect of loving this music is that I sometimes find myself watching ones that are... well, in my opinion kind of gross just to take some more of the delicious melody in. Today for example, I kind of phased out listening to the tunes, only to snap back to reality when I realized I was watching two French, gay twinks alternately lick each other's buttholes, followed by making out, followed by more butthole lick, followed by making out. Etc. <---apparently a common thing in gay French twink porn from the 80's as I had the pleasure of working on one of those a few days back.
(As an aside I must note that while I was at first disgusted thoroughly, the quality of the production was quite good, so it made me realize that those men's buttholes were probably cleaner than most of the plates in my kitchen cupboard... I digress, as in my opinion this is a post-worthy subject...)
So now I am going to get all obsessive and try to track down some of the music from this era in MP3 form. If I find anything good, I'll share it with you guys. If anyone already has some, please let me know...
Dino of the Day 02/25/08
BREAKING NEWS FOR ALL YOU FUCKING DINOLOVERS OUT THERE:
Two new species of meat eaters have been discovered in the Sahara desert! I knew that place was more than just a bummer. It's a pleasure to meet you Eocarcharia dinops and Kryptops palaios. You guys look pretty sweet in my opinion. Perhaps even Dino of the Day material? Fuck no, here's your Dino of the Day:
Two new species of meat eaters have been discovered in the Sahara desert! I knew that place was more than just a bummer. It's a pleasure to meet you Eocarcharia dinops and Kryptops palaios. You guys look pretty sweet in my opinion. Perhaps even Dino of the Day material? Fuck no, here's your Dino of the Day:
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Crapped Pants
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Major and Important Change to the Theme
Nothing porn related today. However, I am posting to inform you all that I have decided to make a major change to the theme of this blog. From now on, this blog is also about dinosaurs. Why? Because I fucking love those rascals.
Each post will include a "Dino of the Day". If there is any news from the world of paleontology, you'll be the first to know after I'm done ranting about spanking flicks.
DINO OF THE DAY:
Each post will include a "Dino of the Day". If there is any news from the world of paleontology, you'll be the first to know after I'm done ranting about spanking flicks.
DINO OF THE DAY:
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Solo Fem, I Love You
My first book of notes is almost filled. Nothing too interesting, it really just reads sort of like:
Gang Bang Addicts 2 <--- someone save their souls 1=00:02:43-00:41:18
2=00:41:20-01:01:10
3=01:01:13-01:46:07
Followed by my shorthand for the scene, which looks sort of like:
blo fac 5 atm dp cow miss swal
I forget the name of the studio at the moment, but we have had a recent onslaught of SOLOFEM flicks arrive from them at the office. Solofem as-in "solo female", naturally. These are the absolute BEST movies to work on. Because after I split the scenes, all I need to do is glance up, see what color hair she has, see what she's up to ("Oh ok she has herself a vibrator now"), see how big her boobies are, and then BAM. Tagged in about 1 minute. There's no fucking around with these bad boys; no sitting around waiting anxiously to see if a rogue ball suck will occur, no waiting to see if a quick bout of analingus will lay siege on my brain.
Just me and a lovely lady. My brain kicks all the sights of the previous flick out the door, and Spider-man and kitties and Charles Barkley walk in from behind them.
Gang Bang Addicts 2 <--- someone save their souls 1=00:02:43-00:41:18
2=00:41:20-01:01:10
3=01:01:13-01:46:07
Followed by my shorthand for the scene, which looks sort of like:
blo fac 5 atm dp cow miss swal
I forget the name of the studio at the moment, but we have had a recent onslaught of SOLOFEM flicks arrive from them at the office. Solofem as-in "solo female", naturally. These are the absolute BEST movies to work on. Because after I split the scenes, all I need to do is glance up, see what color hair she has, see what she's up to ("Oh ok she has herself a vibrator now"), see how big her boobies are, and then BAM. Tagged in about 1 minute. There's no fucking around with these bad boys; no sitting around waiting anxiously to see if a rogue ball suck will occur, no waiting to see if a quick bout of analingus will lay siege on my brain.
Just me and a lovely lady. My brain kicks all the sights of the previous flick out the door, and Spider-man and kitties and Charles Barkley walk in from behind them.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I Tag Your Porn: The Manifesto
Hello and welcome. If you know who I am, then you know who I am. If you know where I live, then you know where I live. If you know where I work, then you know where I work. Those are three things which will simply not be revealed on this blog. I will not be giving "insider info" of any kind about the company I work for (rest assured it is extremely well known... one of the biggies).
What I do intend to achieve here is... well, is to clean my brain. This here is the soap I'm gonna do it with. The atrocities I witness on a daily level are... desensitizing to say the least. Watching a dick get sucked, for example, has the same effect on me as watching a tree. Seeing a fist inserted in a woman's no-no, the same as watching a car drive by.
I have yet to decide, beyond that, what other subjects I will write about. But when I do (say, a ridiculous story involving myself and people I know) names will be changed. Probably to names of geologists and paleontologists from the 1800's. Regardless, lots of strippers have blogs. Lots of adult entertainers have blogs. Lots of doms have blogs. Why not me, the grunt?
But in all honesty, I feel as though all of this is a good thing. In the words of Etheldred Benett, the famous British geologist, "PORN DON'T DO IT FOR ME NO MORE DUDE". Which I think is a rather positive quality. Sure, I had to wade through the Fourth Level of Hell to get there (wading right on past the 60 year old German bondage slaves going at each other's dingalings), but... well fuck, I just remembered those 60 year old German bondage slaves going at each other's dingaling. At least I'm making someone, SOMEWHERE, happy. Naturally, that in turn makes me happy. Kind of. In some horrible way.
I am the savior of pervs. I am the hero of sleepless 3am. I tag your porn.
What I do intend to achieve here is... well, is to clean my brain. This here is the soap I'm gonna do it with. The atrocities I witness on a daily level are... desensitizing to say the least. Watching a dick get sucked, for example, has the same effect on me as watching a tree. Seeing a fist inserted in a woman's no-no, the same as watching a car drive by.
I have yet to decide, beyond that, what other subjects I will write about. But when I do (say, a ridiculous story involving myself and people I know) names will be changed. Probably to names of geologists and paleontologists from the 1800's. Regardless, lots of strippers have blogs. Lots of adult entertainers have blogs. Lots of doms have blogs. Why not me, the grunt?
But in all honesty, I feel as though all of this is a good thing. In the words of Etheldred Benett, the famous British geologist, "PORN DON'T DO IT FOR ME NO MORE DUDE". Which I think is a rather positive quality. Sure, I had to wade through the Fourth Level of Hell to get there (wading right on past the 60 year old German bondage slaves going at each other's dingalings), but... well fuck, I just remembered those 60 year old German bondage slaves going at each other's dingaling. At least I'm making someone, SOMEWHERE, happy. Naturally, that in turn makes me happy. Kind of. In some horrible way.
I am the savior of pervs. I am the hero of sleepless 3am. I tag your porn.
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